Maybe more nearly-end-of-year resolution?
I hardly ever make New Year resolutions, purely because I’ve so often just been in the middle of crises and trying to doggie paddle my way to a state of calm that it was pointless, like resolving to wash the dishes more often if you lived in a rubbish dump.
However, recently I’ve had a creeping sensation of increasing clarity, and my desires coming into focus.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t exactly have a 5-year plan here, but it’s a start.
After the divorce, the break-up with Ali, the years of mental-health issues, and the move to Germany I finally and understandably lost my Muay Thai focus. It just didn’t seem important and I couldn’t, quite frankly, be arsed. So I didn’t. I went out alot, got a social life, did my job and gained 20 pounds or so (which isn’t as disasterous as it sounds).
I met a great guy, settled into a routine and got something approaching calm in my life.
Lately,though, I’ve been a bit bored and I realised it’s time to get Muay Thai back into my life. All in all I’ve gotten through 4 gyms since I’ve been in Berlin and I’ve finally found one which makes me happy:
The training is good, the people are friendly, the facilities are great and I think I could get my fight career back on track with them, so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m also going to do my best to get some kind of relationship going between this gym and my home gym, because that would be AWESOME!!!!
I’m in Edinburgh at this very moment, as it happens, on the sofa of my best friend, Kalshassan, and I’ve had a great week catching up with friends and training with my club, SMTC and my trainer Ally Wallace, one of the folk I’ve missed the most. Just being here,and remembering how much my club, my trainer and the sport means to me and what a huge part of my identity it was has me seriously fired up.
Ok, I’ll probably never have with another club what I had with SMTC, but it can still be good and the door is always open to come back…
Apart from sport, I’m becoming clearer about what I want career-wise. I see two parts: now and later. Now I want more time for my own life and less stress at work and I’m going to make that happen. I want to be able to leave work and still have energy. I want to be able to talk about work with an emotion apart from irritation, and I want to work the hours I’m paid for.
Later is more complicated. I still think I wont be a teacher for ever, but what I will be is something of a mystery. The emergency services appeal to me enormously, but I don’t know how I will manage it practically, since I don’t know where I’m going in the world.
The last part is financial. I’m determined, by my 30th birthday to be in the black. No debts and some savings. I don’t have an enormous amount of debt: moving to Berlin and setting up was expensive and that is what did it, but realistically we’re looking at a year and a half to be in the clear. I can manage it, and although I suck at saving, I’m determined to do that too.
I want to be able to go on holiday, experience more of the world and not be up against the wall whenever an unexpected bill arises.
So there you have it – sport, job and money, my mid-year resolutions.
Oh, and blog more 😉