I woke up ths morning with an inexplicable sense of heaviness about me. Whilst the last few days haven’t been easy per se I’ve achieved alot and I’ve also had fun, meeting new people and starting to explore a new social scene, so I was surprised to wake up feeling so lethargic and pessimistic this morning.
Knowing as I do that it’s mostly chemical, I don’t have to berate myself for not being a shiny happy person every moment of every day and I’ve decided just to accept today’s weightiness, ride it out and hope it will pass.
For me, I tend to jump to the conclusion that when I’m down I have two options: go to bed and stay there, or pretend to be fine and try to brave-face it. Today I am going for Mystery Option 3 -take it easy and aim for gentle distraction. I’m going to go somewhere quiet with decent coffee, read my crime novel and relax and try not to think about anything.
I’ve succeeded in doing the main tasks I set out to, and I’ll go into those in greater detail in a more focussed post, but essentially I’ve registered myself as a resident of the area and opened a bank account and all without a word of English being spoken (trust me, not because I *wanted* it that way). I’ve been to the Flohmarkt (fleamarket) and bought a second hand bike (which hates me, but which I think is cute), and I’ve gone against the grain of my personality by crashing social events and talking to new people. These are all things I’m very proud of having done by myself in this first week, but I’m tired today and not up for any more adverntures in language for a few hours.
So, reward time: coffee, book, peace and maybe even a pastry, we’ll see.